I think you're right, the way the Red is built compared to the old Force you should be able to get it close to 100 grams in good working order.
I get most of my bolts from Yaeger in Germany, ProBolt in the UK has a lot of bolts as well especially bike specific bolts both in Ti and alu. You could also try contacting FairWheelBikes or have a look at Toronto Cycles on e-bay. The last one is the only one I don't have experience with myself but people seem happy about their products.
What you're looking for for the shifter I think is called a c-clip, they are used on a few other bikeparts as well, f.i. a front derailleur so if you have an old one laying around you could have a look at that? Most bikeshops should have those but maybe they are hard to get in Thailand? I'm sure Madcow will know what size these are